We are shaped by our most dominant thoughts
——- Stella

Stella never forgets,
Her mind always deep in thought.

Stella never forgets
The wrong she did;
Though she’s repented a million times,
She still feels guilty.

She never forgets
Friends who said they’ll be there,
Who left when evening came;
Friends who left and evening came.

She still regrets
That one act of carelessness,
While juggling job, hubby and baby

The pain of separation,
The loss of her baby,
Her joy tampered with.

The pain and the hurt,
Kisses of betrayal,
The time wasted with a fake lover.

Stella never forgets,
She never forgives,
Not others,
Not herself.

Can’t say if its a natural gifting or a learned skill but Stella has an incredible ability to recall really unpleasant events in her life.

For someone who can barely remember the topic of her final year undergraduate project, you may begin to wonder how she’s able to recollect the date (day, month, year) of almost every misfortune that has ever befallen her.

Before now she was a slave to the memories of her past. Every decision she made (or didn’t make) was predicated upon unobjective and/or emotional deductions from some unpleasant experience in her past. A loop was initiated, such that one hurtful experience led to another. The common link being the fact that she was hard at letting go of the awful memories. Of a truth, our lives are inadvertently shaped by our most dominant thoughts.

At the part where our wall of defense against hurt is highest, there we are most vulnerable to it. The more we try not to be vulnerable, and are suspicious of everyone and everything we come across, the more we move into zones where hurt is more subtle, not easily identifiable, but is most potent – especially with the element of surprise. Moreover, the sting of a hurtful experience is in our habouring the hurt not in the hurt itself. Of course, that’s not to say that hurt is an illusion, or that we shouldn’t be careful.

When we gloat over previous disappointments, we run the risk of training our minds to see failure in every assignment, hypocrisy in the most sincere motives, betrayal in the best of friendship, and blessings as disguised curses. Given the fact that no friend, colleague or family member is perfect, and no situation is trouble proof, these things become clearly visible and we then pride ourselves to be of great intuition. Not knowing that we are gradually becoming opportunity blind.

Forgetting is so difficult. To gloat over a misfortune seems like the easy thing to do. With little or no effort, one can recall with clarity, certain experiences that have left scars.

Therein lies the challenge – that we forget the past, approach life boldly, making friends, opening new doors, massively investing time and resources in new frontiers – and when the unexpected happens, we take a moment to ease the grief, evaluate the situation, learn our lessons, then move on.

Since Stella finds it difficult to forget, she has decided to redirect her energy. No longer a slave to hurts, grudges, revenge, guilt and disappointments. Focused on the nice and sweet things in her life, she’s surprised to find so many.

Her marriage is on the brink of crashing, but she’s determined to save it, though married to a man whose only discernible talent is the ability to creatively design new ways by which life will be unbearable for her.

In spite of all, she chooses not to forget that each hurt was designed to make her stronger, each disappointment for her to see new opportunities, each wrong done was not to burden with guilt but to help her identify with other people in similar situation. And most of all, she chooses not to forget that She Is Blessed.

Stella’s marriage eventually crashed, But she’s resolved to forget her awful past and step boldly into a new life.



Copyright (c) February 2015 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.