Skipping Breakfast

It’s 4am according to my alarm, but my body says it’s about 1am, just 2hrs since I fell asleep after preparing a meal which I was too tired to eat. As if physical strength was also listed as an active ingredient in the recipe, and all I had left after the day’s work wasn’t enough but I gave it anyway, because, homemade dinner. And to think that some folks actually boast of sleeping between 12am and 3am everyday – though my sleepy memory can only recollect characters in motivational books by American authors.

Next, I bemoan how young hustling execs in Lagos arrived at this seemingly ungodly consensus ‘wake up’ time. Personally, I do not think the rush to beat traffic sufficiently explains it, except for the people who seem to have ‘beating Lagos traffic everyday’ as a life goal.

While I’m having these work unrelated thoughts, my clock ticks. I finally get off the bed at 4:20 when the 10min snooze expires for the second time, and I’m wondering if Albert Einstein’s theory of relativity can explain why time is in such a hurry to my bright future whenever I’m within a 2-meter radius of the center of my bed.

I grab my phone not to Skype Eniola, but to check if the funds I have amassed in my retirement savings account is ‘jaiye‘ enough for me to email my resignation to my boss straightaway. In other news; Eniola and I have been brooding over this particular revolutionary business start-up idea. Perhaps, this is a sign that I should resign and pursue my dreams of playing big in the Agric products/commodities supply chain.
I know, i know, that isn’t a popular career path to success.

Surprisingly, MTN behaves, and my account summary ushers reality for the umpteenth time into my room. I’m quite convinced that if a voice message of my current account summary was the ring tune of my alarm, my alarm would be 100% efficient at waking me up.

I freshen up and off I go to work. Not forgetting to Skype Eniola before I hit the road. God is not emotionally insecure that he’ll choose to not bless my hustle because I hurriedly left the house without saying hello to Him. But I can’t say same about Eniola. For her, morning chats make the day bright and fair even before the sun crosses the horizon, and the weather makes up its mind about honouring the prediction of its forecasters.

When for some reason I miss the morning ritual, it usually turns out to be a day of unending apologies from me to her. Problem is, an apology seems very much like a ‘you are always right’ compliment to Eniola. Ok, your guess is as good as mine as regards her capacity to tirelessly take compliments all day. Thankfully, God is not like my Eniola.

Some things seem out of place on a workday morning – a nice breakfast, a few minutes of thanksgiving, a refreshing drink from an inspired author, some soft music. The list is quite lengthy. The many graces we neglect in our rush to beat time. In our race to catch up with time and with our peers who had a head start, we often mistake these graces for speed bumps.

Here in uptown Lagos where working is living, working tirelessly for unreasonably long hours confers a sort of social status on individuals. An individual is fortunate to get a legit means of livelihood, so they work round the clock as a show of gratitude for being singled off the stats. A cycle begins.

 

*Repeat every workday until One Day!*

 

One Day

The money is made, empire built, unborn generations insured et al.

Only that this describes a minute fraction of folks in the city. In fact, majority of the persons whom this description aptly fit, will/do/did not go through this grind. In essence, the odds for the Utopian future we desire does not hang solely on the drudgery of our work schedule.

‘One day’ is when the curtains are drawn and we reflect on what really maters.

‘One day’ is when we realize that we are not slaves to time and seasons. We are to determine them.

… when we realize that Eniola was right after all. Frequent open heart sessions with people in your innermost circle has a positive impact on your well being and consequently on your overall performance.

… when we realize that pursuing our dreams and passions via not-so-popular paths doesn’t necessarily mean we have chosen to gamble with our bright future.

… when we realize that we ought to define success personally, and not feed into a stereotype.

… when we realize that though God is not emotionally insecure, we – by putting a selfish spin on this truth – often bear pains absolutely needless for people who are only a prayer away from Him.

Before One Day

There’s a thin line between hard work and self-slavery. The former savours every moment and is thankful for a brand new opportunity to be of value, the latter skips the many graces of each new day to head off, each with emphasis on getting the work done.

Let not ‘Life and Living’ be relegated to some time in the future.


 

Copyright (c) August 2015 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.

 


 

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Thank You For Lying

Dear Associate, Thank you for lying
Impressive profile, innocent face, tailor-made sheep’s clothing
The voice of Jacob laced with a sweet accent
How I so easily fell for a lame scam. A trick so cheap only a greedy fellow could be fooled____
How you mirror me
For were I honest, not swayed by shades of empty rhetoric, your real colours would have been revealed
A man is deceived only to the extent to which he deceives himself
Now I realize the need to be true.

Dear Uncle, Thank you for lying
So you were scared??
How highly I thought of you
The substance of man’s grandest reputation is dwarfed by the lightest consequence of truth____
Everyone is scared at some point
This simple fact had eluded me… until now
Now when bad approaches, there’s no need to cover my tracks with lies… I face it
‘Cos I know everyone goes through this phase

Hello Lover, Thank you for lying
You and I at the gate to paradise, loneliness far from me
Just one more line of yours and bliss would have replaced blood in my veins
My whole sense of fulfilment delicately hanging on perfectly delivered false-hope____
You and I in a humble apartment, downtown Lagos
Dinner – though a modest helping of cassava flakes and bean cakes – was a near heaven experience
‘Cos all day you shared with me a dream about our future
But you had other dreams – Susan your ever present ex was also tagged in the same future.

Thank you for lying
The truth is bitter only when it doesn’t appear on the menu, but sits comfortably on the dish one orders
Perhaps it needs no introduction, no fanfare, no colouring
Or is it possible to colour or distort one truth with another??____
Yea, I’ve had my days of pretentious living
Loving the most, that which was sure to ruin me
Battered and bruised, healing comes to me, undeservedly
Now my options are few – Truth or falsehood – Fulfilment or ambition – Contentment or lack

Thank you for lying
But you won’t get another chance… to lie to me

Copyright (c) April 2015 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.

Special People


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What makes a person special?
Why do some people stand out effortlessly in the crowd?
Why do the memories of some persons linger long after they’re gone?
Why do I seek love and attention from one out of so many?
Are some persons born to be special?

Hi friends, hope your week has been great? I want to share a few thoughts on a mystified subset of the human race called Special People.

Y’al remember that one person (in class, at work or at home) who seems so different (effortlessly). The guy every girl wants to hang out with. The girl on whom almost every piece of clothing looks nice. I can recall so many, more especially the ones whose mannerisms I try to imitate – though they hardly show it if they are flattered by my poor attempts at mimicry. Besides, my heightened sense of self (or is it superiority complex??) wont let my acting skills take root. So I’ve been thinking… Who are these people? How do they attain this status?

My answer isn’t very straightforward (I know I know, my answers are usually not), but I hope you enjoy the read… *wink*

For purposes of clarity, lemme quickly say that this post is not meant to rehash the old assertion – ‘everyone is unique’. Everyone is unique means no two persons are same, but it doesn’t sufficiently imply that everyone is special. Never mind what motivational speakers drill off the semantics of ‘unique’ and ‘special’ and the identity crisis (especially among young people) attendant with taking such speeches too seriously.

In this post, I’ll try as much as I can to steer away from the trivial correlation (and often wrongly perceived mutual causality) between being unique and being special.

The Thesis: You Are Special

Geee I’m in a fix here! A person is either special or not, and that applies to you my dear reader. But I’ll just assume you’re special (I wouldn’t want to lose an esteemed reader by presupposing the contrary).

But then, that’s how it begins. One or two persons believing in you (family members most often), encouraging you and staying with you through thick and thin, while you’re being shaped into the person you’re meant to be. Does it really matter if their reasons are sometimes sentimental, unobjective or even wrongly placed?? No it doesn’t, unless you’ve formed the habit of not returning the goodwill.

Question: So how do you know I’m special??

Answer: Believe me, I have no idea. *scratching my coconut head*

But I could attempt a few weak explanations:
If for some reasons I seem to fancy you, then there must be a few qualities I admire in you which our friends may or may not fancy. You are special to me, but not to our friends (if they don’t fancy the same qualities).

Question: Can I really say I’m special if the number of persons who do not fancy me seem to be more than the number of persons who do??

Answer: Yes you can and yes you should.

This isn’t a game of numbers, else we may have to conduct a census. One sincere admirer is enough substance to the rule.

Sorry if your own case of being special is not the type that attracts friends and admirers more than public funds can attract Nigerian Politicians. Yours may be the type that attracts haters, burdens, needy people, impossible tasks, thankless jobs et al. You’re special still.

The Anti-Thesis: They Are Special

This time I’m in a bigger fix! ‘They’ refers to the other person not reading this post right now. Lemme also assume they’re special (it would be unfair to say they’re not in their absence).

Question: How do you know someone is special, when you know little or nothing about them?

Answer: We really do not need to know so much about the person. Treat someone like he’s special, and he acts like he is (at least to you), whether or not he truly is. Treat a so called (special) person like he’s not special, chances are he acts like he’s not.

Of course there are a few exceptions to this rule, but I’m yet to met them in person. Please contact me if you meet one.

The Synthesis: We’re All Special People

You agree with me that you’re special. We both agree that our friend not reading this post is too, providing we treat him like he is. The conclusion is quite simple but difficult to accept – We Are All Special People.

Question: If we are all special, then what’s special about being special?

Initial Thought: Is that really the issue?? Like seriously??

Phone a Friend: Errmmm I don’t know about that… If you’re special, good for you. All I know is that I’m special, and that’s all that concerns me. :Call dropped:

Final Answer: Would you be willing to treat yourself like trash and in effect become not-special, so as to reduce the number of special people, so as to make special special?? No of course.

Or you’d be like Raymond who refuses to buy a car because he thinks there are already too many cars in Lagos. So he wants to help to control Lagos traffic by not buying a car, not knowing that his decision may cause a fall in the demand of the car, which will also cause a fall in the price of the car, which will probably make the car affordable for a teenager, who may cause an accident, which may worsen the same traffic Raymond is trying to control.

When we do not take care of ourselves or we do not invest in our future or when we deprive ourselves of basic necessities just because we think some people live lavishly while others live in abject poverty, we do not in any way make the world a better place and altruism doesn’t suffice a reasonable excuse. How can it be, when one more person is worse off.

We are all special people, and we can be better…

I Am Special. You Are Special. Everyone is Special.

Treat everyone right and don’t think too highly of yourself.


Copyright (c) April 2015 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.

Random Valentine Ramblings

Love is in the air again?? Okay i’m holding ma breath till further notice.

At this time of the year, Love seems like an airborne disease which results in record-high spouse turnover. More hearts are broken during this period than through the rest of the year. So Jonah thought it wise to hold the election on Val day, to minimize the number of heart break cases.

Or was he simply avoiding an official Val outing with Mummy? Chai, lemme contunu.

The election has been postponed to the 11th of April – the very day Eniola and I chose for our wedding. Though there are quite a number of theories as to why the election was moved from Val’s day, my own humble explanation is that ‘Love Conquers All’ – including election.

Since the election now falls on my tentative wedding date, I’m afraid that ‘Love’ combined with Eniola’s ‘fire prayers’ may cause the election date to be moved further.

I have not said that the Presidential election won’t hold on the 11th of April oo.

Now, with the postponement of the election, and the consequent re-emergence of Val day, I am faced with the herculean task of planning a Hollywood grade romantic evening for Eniola and I on the 14th, to match her well thought out fantasies.

You’d think women – with their high emotional intelligence – would take up this chore of fixing up Val day, the contrary is the case.
I don’t watch telenovellas but I’m expected to outdo the guys in the stories. How?

Eniola insists I should be solely in charge of planning our Val day outing, same she thinks I have little to offer in the planning of our wedding because I’m a man. You and I know that planning a wedding is easier than planning Val day. The only thing difficult about planning a wedding is choosing colours. How you have to choose between basically same colours – between pink and orange or more annoyingly, between coffee brown and chocolate brown.

Val day is about making an impression. Its a day on which the public display of affection is more important than affection itself. You know that feeling when your girlfriend doesn’t say yes to your marriage proposal not because you both don’t love each other, but because the delivery of your proposal isn’t so spectacular. i.e proposing while sitting across her, instead of going on one knee.

To My Guys Who Will Be Proposing On Val day: If you’re not ‘stinking’ rich or ‘drop dead’ handsome or both, just respect yourself.

If Val day and her birthday were the only days on which I had to be impressive, I’d be fine. But there’s still our Pre-Val day dinner, our Engagement Anniversary, our First Hello Anniversary, our First Dinner/Date anniversary and several other seemingly important dates. Thank goodness we both faithfully observe the judeo-christian code of conduct, or we would also have to celebrate our first ****** aniversary. Thank goodness…

About this impression thing ehn… If a woman is unexpectant, you have a fair chance at impressing her, but when she’s hoping to be wowed, then you’re in for it. The trick is to try and not do too much overskill, or you’ll raise her expectations so high that they become unattainable. For example, you skype her on the 13th to say you have a ‘little’ surprise for her. Only for you to present to her ordeenaary iPhone 6, when she had in mind something way smaller – like the keys to a Range Rover Sport Evoque.

Okay, hope you’re not intimidated oo, Eniola and I are also in the Shawarma/Toyota Camry League… lol

Quite painfully, my fiancĂ©e thinks the measure of my love for her is the extent to which I can pull off a good show on the 14th. She doesn’t seem to realize that nothing in the whole universe comes close to portraying what I feel for her – not a trip to the Niagara Falls, not even a space shuttle to the moon… bla bla bla… story for the gods…

True, that wasn’t an exaggeration. But you get my point anyways

This Val day, Eniola and I will have a heart to heart chat. I figure she doesn’t know exactly how I feel about her, though I’ve been trying to communicate the extent of my love for her through gifts. I’m just going to tell her straight up, some of the nicest things she may ever hear in her entire life. And if the sugar of words doesn’t work, I’ll just take it that the most expensive of gifts, the finest of breathtaking scenery, and the loveliest of intentions won’t work either.

And that I never had her in the first place…

And that INEC can hold their election on the 11th of April… if they ever wanted to…


 

Copyright (c) February 2015 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS YEAR TODAY

today 3


 

Its about that time in January when the new year fever has subsided considerably, and I’m down to just one new year resolution out of several I made. I had 11 at the beginning of the year, I guess the other ten had their own resolutions too and I lost out in the clash of resolutions. At least they should have sent a memo, perhaps I’d have picked less competitive resolutions.

One of my 11 resolutions now defunct was that I’d look less at pretty dark-skinned Lagos women. I was having a smooth ride until the usual January fasting and prayers ended, work resumed, a Lagos traffic (human and vehicular) which knew not 2015 took to the streets and highways. Then I saw. And it was good.

Please don’t blame me. There are only a few of them left in Lagos – courtesy Toning. And I’m of the opinion that an agency be set up to help preserve this endangered specie of pretty women – Department for the Preservation of Dark-skinned Ladies DPDL. I am willing to be the director of that agency. *faints with one eye open*

Ok I’m back. Back to less serious matters. It is imperative that we set goals at the start of each new year, so we are motivated though the year. Resolutions would have neatly fallen into the ‘goals’ category were it not for the fact that they are intricately tied to die-hard habits. We treat them with the same wishful thinking paradigm devoid of meticulously planned purposeful commitment.

2015 is on the move, faster than the speed at which a Nigerian politician can mis-manage public funds. How then do we meet up with our life, career and relationship goals.
Spirituality (in life), talent (in career), and/or love (in relationship) alone doesn’t perform the magic needed for a fantastic year. There’s the part of making decisions/resolutions to live, work and love. There’s also the part of sticking with them by doing what is required.

Of course we are quite familiar with these sayings. Why then do we not finish the year as strong as we ought to? Perhaps we should place less emphasis on the year and rather focus on each new day. Maybe we should have New Year Daily Resolutions in place of New Year Resolutions, and New Day Resolutions in place of New Year Resolutions. What exactly is a year? It is simply a couple of days.

Goals of every kind and size must be fit into a daily agenda. Financial freedom and security, mortgage and property, chastity in relationship, marriage, sound health, personal rebranding, skill dexterity et al as far reaching as they seem, become easier when a little of each is consistently achieved each new day.

If I am committed to achieving my daily goals in life, career and relationship, the year will certainly take care of itself. Should I then desist from making yearly resolutions? No. But the yearly should be predicated on feasible dailies or I lose out and have none left at the end of January, because the usual Jan.1st energy bust is temporary.

Today presents an amazing opportunity for me to have a fantastic year.

In 2015 I shall live in sound health
Today, I eat healthy

In 2015 I shall be blessed financially
Today, I save some money and eliminate waste

In 2015 I shall be the best in my field
Today, I take time out to practice

In 2015 I shall not indulge in acts of moral and/or sexual misconduct
Today, I flee every appearance of evil

In 2015 I shall be favoured
Today, I help the needy

Did I tell you what my remaining (out of the first 11) new year resolution is?

  • Its to make each new day count.

To start each new day like its a new year.

To greet everyone I come across like I’ve not seen them since last year, even though I saw them yesterday.

To say a prayer as soon as I’m awake, and plan my day as I would a new year, rather than grab my phone to read feeds on twitter.

To work hard on my job like I’ll give an annual report at the end of today.

To love and cherish (in practical terms) the people in my life like I’ll be closer to the grave by tomorrow morning. Of course I will.

#WhatHaveYouDoneToday


 

Copyright (c) January 2015 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.


HOW TO SURVIVE IN LAGOS WITHOUT A WIFE

Fellow Bachelors, I must say that anyone who is deliberately single in Lagos is either gay or probably has the gift of celibacy but hasn’t discovered it yet. The sheer sight of half nude women everywhere even in religious gatherings (I usually peep with an eye open during worship), the rise of feminism – a really confusing ideology which encourages women to make bold passes at men. These contribute to the pressure on Lagos men.

Lagos bachelors generally fall into 3 categories –
1. Plans to marry in about a year or two
2. No immediate plans to marry
3. Not thinking about marriage at all

I’m in the first category, so I’m neither gay nor celibate, although Eniola – my girlfriend – thinks I’m somewhere in between. She’s yet to be convinced that my conservative judeo-christian beliefs are my premise for enforcing chastity in our relationship. Well, I would have been married by now if my ex had not jilted me for Nath. These babes ain’t loyal! If Eniola replays the tape I might just sink to the second category of bachelors. *hope she’s reading this*

The second category is not so much a bad place as this is where most Lagos bachelors are. If this current wave of feminism gets its footing, a woman may just propose to you one of these days. Please say yes when she does. Thinking “I just can’t imagine why my Eniola doesn’t subscribe to modern feminism“.

The third category are the ones who will cause traffic on a serious Monday morning with their ‘about to wed’ cars, like they just came up with the wedding idea over the weekend. After living in denial for so long they wake up to reality and fix a wedding for noon on a Thursday, when their mates are working.

Whatever category you find yourself I hope these few tips prove useful.

1. Avoid Lagos Traffic:
I pity every man who spends hours daily in traffic only to come home to battle loneliness.

In fact Lagos traffic has killed so many dreams. I was held up in traffic while my ex waited for me at our usual hangout. Right there, Nath, a footballer who was in town and just chilling, walked up to her and chatted her up. The rest is history.

What pains me the most is that these over zealous LASTMA officials won’t even allow one alight from his car to introduce himself to the pretty lady in the adjacent car when we’re stuck at a red light.

2. No Online Wives:
There was a time when men were said to have spiritual/marine wives, now social media wives are trending. Everyone has a dear/sweetheart/love/darling/bae/boo online. If you are currently without a real wife, I’ll suggest you do not mislead yourself by the illusion of a grand friendship online, except of course something is in the pipeline.

3. Grow A Beard:
No matter how small, make sure you grow a beard. A stylish beard. I have noticed that bearded men are happier bachelors, and I wouldn’t know the connection. Anyways, I promise to research this phenomenon, who knows I may win a Nobel Prize for my work. #GrowABeard

4. Be Organized:
Bachelors usually do not know how to keep their apartments in one piece, especially if they have to leave the house at 4am only to return at 11pm. If you do not learn to be organized, you may feel an overwhelming necessity for a wife for the wrong or ‘not good enough’ reason, and you may eventually marry someone whose major/only resourcefulness is housekeeping.

5. Cook:
It is a terrible thing for a man not to have a wife, to endure Lagos rush hour traffic, and yet not have good food at home. Learn to cook. The only fallout of this is that men who know how to cook have a way of marrying women who don’t know how to cook.

6. Work Out:
Your physical well being has a bearing on your emotional and mental health. There’s also the added advantage of you meeting other single men with similar bachelorhood experiences.

If you cannot afford to register in a gym, then hit the road. Third mainland bridge seems to be a hot spot these days and its likely you hook up with a single lady pretty fast there. Downside is most of the ladies are overweight and you may have to consider a career as a fitness trainer in addition to your role as husband after marrying one of them.

7. Get Busy:
Men are designed for work. Do something with your spare time. I mean engage actively in noble projects with both short and long term goals. Recreation and leisure are good but should be to a fair minimum, because their upside effects are usually temporary. After the feeling wears out, there’s the return to the previous state, and for a single man that state may be one of loneliness.

8. Wait:
There are so many lewd ways around this bachelorhood ‘wahala’. Cohabitation, womanizing, m*st*rb*t**n, p*rn*gr*phy, s*x t*ys… None of these can match the blessing of having a real woman in a government approved union. If you are not yet married, just wait till you are. Console yourself by the thought that she’ll be worth the wait. A wife is always more than worth the wait.

If you’re still reading to get more tips, here’s my final tip:
Go And Marry!

#GoAndMarry


 

Copyright (c) December 2014 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.

FOR MATURE PERSONS ONLY | A Sure Guide… by clickpresh

Never mind this generation of fast paced youngsters who seem to be breaking new grounds in record time. Where were they when you pioneered frontiers in the same field? You have seen it all so don’t be inspired by these new fancy success stories. Instead remain in your exalted throne of past glory and relive sweet memories of the good ol’ days when you were top notch. I show you how.

You’re The Boss. Act Like It.
When you are in a gathering, enforce your superiority over others. Take the credit for the good inputs and exonerate yourself of the consequences of bad inputs. Don’t arrive early for meetings but shut the door against fellow latecomers after you arrive. If it is within your power, punish the latecomers, including the ones who arrived before you.

Mingle Only With People Who Massage Your Ego
Your circle of friends should be a subset of your most vocal praise singers. Have nothing to do with people who see beyond your myopic views. Go only where you are celebrated. If someone points out a weakness of yours, a character flaw or an area where you need further development, distance yourself from such ardent fault finders and malicious character defamers. If a teammate comes up with an idea, do not admit it is a good one or even commend him for it if he did not ask for your endorsement before going public about the idea. He doesn’t know your worth.

Stop Learning. You’ve Learned Enough
Never attend conferences or seminars. What will they teach you? The facilitator is your junior in age, the speaker was a protegee to one of your protegees. Do they know how many seminars you’ve organized yourself? However, make it clear that you’ll attend the seminar if and only if you’re the chief speaker. Don’t make out time to learn new things and improve on your skills even if your antiquated aptitude is now unproductive. Instead blame your lack of progress on the folks who are busy training hard and consequently changing the rules of the game, especially if they do not consult you before doing so. They have forgotten so soon that you made the rules.

Seek To Be Served
You have arrived, why should you still do the odd jobs? Make sure people carry your bag, books and other personal effects whenever they see you coming, even when you are stronger than they are. How else will others know that you’ve truly arrived? Don’t be the first to say hi. Never check on others to know how they are faring, you are too big for that. When others serve you, do not show gratitude, or they will begin to take you for granted. Rather, make them see that it is a rare privilege you gave them to have the honour to serve you. Don’t they know people who have become great just by serving you? Service is the key to greatness, so why should you bother to serve others since you are great already?

Ensure That Everyone Knows Your Status
Elaborate introductions are very important. Before you make a statement in public or in a meeting with teammates, be sure that someone reads out your profile, even if it is just a pointless question you’re about to ask. If no one is willing to do it , do it yourself. Spend more time talking about your self than you actually spend working on yourself. Your reputation is more important than your character. Drop the call when you call someone and the person doesn’t have your number saved or cannot place your voice, it doesn’t matter if you are the person who has a need. Value yourself.

Never Acknowledge That You Need Help
How will people look at you if they know that the almighty you needs help? Rather die in silence than allow that happen. Keep pretending you’re doing fine, that you can do it if you believe you can, that its just a matter of time and things will change for the better. Whatever you go through never request for help or support from others, because when you do you are indirectly saying that they are better than you. Who can be better than you? You are so unique and great potentials lie within you.

Fold Your Arms And Watch Things Go Bad
In times of conflict, do not get involved in resolution unless it will bolster your reputation. You have worked so hard to get to where you are. So do not sacrifice all of that in peace-making, even if all that is required is for you to rebuke the party that is wrong. You are not their mother to tell them they’re wrong or they’re right. Don’t they have consciences of their own? Always stay on the fence. Build one if there is none and stay there. Grey has to be your favourite colour.

Glory In Past Achievements
Record a song about your past achievements. Remix the song every now and then though you have no new feats. Blow your trumpet at every given opportunity, because no one will blow it for you. When people talk about the future, tell them they lack experience. Take them on a time trip into the past, play your song as the soundtrack during the journey. Don’t be bothered if you don’t have any new trophies, label people who do as being too ambitious and success driven. Be fulfilled and satisfied about where you are now. Be suspicious of yourself and consult a psychologist if the desire to take on new projects is suddenly aroused within you.

The End
……………

We never stop growing. Maturity is an illusion.


 

Copyright (c) September 2014 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.

SELF CULTURE | Gifts For Sale… by clickpresh

The most beautiful things in life though gift-wrapped, have price tags on them. Life is free, living is not. The warmth of family, the loyalty of a friend and the all-out affection of a lover are all available when and only when one is willing to give something in return. Man’s Self Culture has influenced his approach to the holy triumvirate of relationship – Family, Friendship and Love. By extension, some of the freest things in life have been put up for sale in a sort of refined barter trade.

Family
A father loves his only son dearly. There are other boys in the neighborhood who are in need of a Father figure, most of them more deserving – by virtue of need – than his son. If by some string of luck one of the boys stumble on a document or run into a veteran doctor who confirms his sonship, he is immediately admitted into the club of ‘loved ones’. Peradventure it is later discovered that his first son isn’t his biologically, one of two things may happen. He holds on to the boy owing to emotional attachment and relationship they have built on the premise of nuture kinship over time, as such investment should not sublime into thin air. Or he let the boy go because the son of another man should not inherit his wealth and be deserving of warmth exclusively reserved for family members. Each action is guided by same principle. Family sticks together, so its natural for one to favour family members over non-members for security of investment.

Friendship
You are here at my wedding because i attended yours. If you are here at my wedding and I didn’t attend yours its either you are family or I attended yours but can’t remember if I did. If you are family, then I was at your wedding. Long and short is that I am nice to you because you were nice to me, you are nice to me, or you will be nice to me. I will resist the temptation of describing friendship between two persons as I would an elementary linear equation between two variables x and y, because friendship is way simpler than that. Friendship becomes complicated when two persons with absolutely no ideals, character traits, goodwill, interests, experiences and aspirations in common choose to remain friends. In essence, the more we have to benefit from each other the better our friendship. Put another way, we are friends because we both benefit from the friendship. If one party consistently defaults on this unwritten rule, the friendship runs aground in the course of time. What kind of friendship is without friendliness? The word ‘friend’ is a title for someone who is friendly, not another synonym for a neighbor or a course mate. If an enemy becomes friendly he becomes a friend. If a supposed friend ceases to be friendly he also ceases to be a friend.

Love
The idea of unconditional love between a man and a woman is quite baffling. I’d be scared of someone who loves me for no obvious reason, because my selfish self won’t do same. What is the substance of affection if love is baseless, empirical and unfounded? What is love without bias, jealousy and modest doses of possessiveness? A man comes of age, he makes a list of all his female friends and another list for qualities he’d want in a wife, he shortlists a few ladies based on their looks, physical endowment and other qualities on his long list. Dating begins. The audition ends, a winner emerges, the grand prize is awarded – marriage. I’ll try not to narrate the processes involved when a woman wants to fall in love, as such complexities are not my specialty. Whatever the case is, the two eventually settle for each other in a socially accepted contract of compromise signed to ensure the mutual satisfaction of the physical, emotional and social needs of each other with love supposedly the guiding principle of the contract. Each party then has to play by the rules or the other party files for divorce as marriage is a serious registered business, not a charity project. This is the most unusual description of ‘unconditional’ I have ever seen. I believe in unconditional affection. I also believe that Arsenal FC will sign Lionel Messi in my lifetime.

Man’s propensity to act in his own best interest is quite natural, as one needs to take care of oneself first before attempting to take care of others. Family is great only when members treat each other with warmth and respect. If you want a friend then be one. Love is beautiful only when the parties involved are willing to beautify what they share.

However a few persons consistently defy this law. The men and women who give themselves daily in selfless living, who love before they are loved, smile when in a sea of frowning faces, extend a hand of help to people who may never repay them. You and I can recount sweet stories of these angels in human skin – ordinary people leading extra-ordinary lives, laying their lives and so taking it, seeing beyond the boundary of self. A friend who won’t give up on us, a mother who non-family members call blessed, a lover through thin and thick.

Man has conquered all but himself. He calculates his net worth (physical, social and financial) and strives to outperform others even when such feat scores no point nobler than a vain ego massage would. Even an act of charity is done to satisfy a deep longing to be seen as selfless. How different life would be if You and I broadcast the glow and ardor of family, the cordiality of friendship, and the radiance of love without expecting to get back in a hundred fold.


 

Copyright (c) September 2014 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights Reserved.

IF GOD DID NOT EXIST | Musings of a Fresh Convert by clickpresh

If God did not exist
And life was meaningful
Though empty of doctrines
Creeds, tenets not so doable
If there were no holy books
No moral compass codified
Inspired to correct and rebuke
Restraining man so defiled

If God did not exist
The creator of the universe
By whom good and bad co-exists
Rain and sunshine on every house
If conscience were an illusion
That still small voice
Unevenly distributed among humans
Acutely limiting the volition of choice

If God did not exist
Man without an external force
To ensure judgment as works be
Blessings and curses appropriately
If day did not come after night
The darkness lingering after dawn
The blind having no need for sight
Sunset and sunrise taking no turns

If God did not exist
And life was void of the hereafter
Of Heaven and hell, precincts
Of space and time eternal
If history just began now
Yesterday never really happened
Tomorrow never comes
Today, only piece of time unraveled

If love wasn’t a command
The greatest of all virtues of man
Forgiveness blessedly divine
And I could repay them who do me harm
If lust was a sign of adulthood
Maturity and chastity mutually exclusive
Lewd glances at women in my hood
Well rounded behind swaying in rhythm

If I protect the defenseless
House the destitute
Clothe the naked
Only because God has asked me to
If I take children for wives
Kill innocent people
Deprive girls of learning and basic rights
Thanks to the Benevolent, the Merciful

If I cannot be morally upright
Be involved in community projects
Quit social vices
Except there is a religious agenda
If I, in my full mental capacity
Conclude that my economy is of heaven
And so ignore the poverty around me
Not touched by the sufferings of others

If I cannot pray for the sick
Volunteer as a health worker
Make donations to a health trust fund
Join awareness rallies on social media
If in my air-conditioned office I sit
Make boast of my healing faith
When an epidemic hits my city
And make mockery of the sick and frail

If evil were more beneficial than good
Would I bother to do right?
Do I put up righteous acts
Because I will be blessed for doing so?
If living standards improve; learning,
Mortgage, health, job opportunities,
Security of life and property
Would I still have need for the Almighty?

Is fear of divine punishment
My motivation for right living?
What kind of life would I lead
If God did not exist to police me?


Copyright (c) August 2014 clickpresh’s blog. All Rights reserved.